Hi!
Our press is down. The boss isn't here, and I think we aren't supposed to say where he went.
Oh. We aren't supposed to say he isn't here. We're supposed to say he's unavailable, can I help you.
Can I help you?
We don't really have anything for sale, so if you just want to look around, that works.
These are pretty cool. They're digital photo models of our news racks. Coin operated paperweights. You put money in to make them work. They're made from a sheet of paper, so they aren't any heavier, unless you add the money. If they malfunction, add more money. They're photocopies, but also handmade, like origami, kind of. We can't really sell them, they're so hard to make. It's impossible, really. We tried to get some kids to do it, child labor, but they just can't, bless their hearts. So far, Fred's the only one that can make them, without turning them into a wadded mess. So, it doesn't work, selling them. They'd have to be expensive. They'd have to be like 50 bucks, or forget it.
We also do these urban flower pots, with street signs. But it's pretty much the same deal.
We also have newsbags, canvas carrier bags. Some middle-school kids were using them to carry their books for a couple of years, and they hold up. We might actually be able to sell those, now that I think of it. Like for groceries. The green thing. They're good bags--we couldn't find any as good as ours, and they aren't too hard to make. I probably ought to bring it up, that we should sell them, sometime, at a meeting. If we have a meeting. We could dress them up a little, we just haven't worked it out yet. We were thinking of doing a whole bundle, for our cub reporters, with press passes, carrier bags, and something else, I can't remember all of it. But things have just been crazy lately. You know how it is. So we don't actually have those to sell. Or anything.
Fortune cookies
Our fortune cookies are awesome. They look great, almost like Sarah Fredrick's ceramics, kind of. Not really, but for fortune cookies, they suggest that kind of quality. Marietta is the master cookie person--these are some she did for the Big Bone movie geek art show. She got really good at making them, and they taste, well, as good as fortune cookies are going to taste, anytime soon. The only problem with those is still, they're handmade, take a lot of time. And there's still a problem getting the FDA approved paper and inks, for the fortunes. And most of our fortunes are misfortunes, They're just jokes, but people don't like getting bad fortunes. At all. Like something bad would actually happen. We'd have to think of some happy, upbeat ones, instead. But then they aren't as funny. So I don't know.
There's our newspaper. We have plenty of those. But we give them away. Our newsboxes say one dollar, please, because it's so fun to empty the change thing. People actually put money in it. I saw somebody do it once. But we took the locks off a long time ago. The newsbox over by Carmichael's Bookstore on Frankfort Ave does better than anywhere else. It almost looks like somebody cleans it for us. It's unbelievable. This one time there was like, fourteen dollars in it.
And our postcards, greeting cards, snowglobes, portraits, our board game "Fact Checkers," which is based on checkers, but with facts, and stuff. We haven't got those things made yet. And Fred felt he'd got into a rut with the portraits. Or he's working on his house. It's always something.
Guitar picks--we have a really innovative kind of pick we patented years ago. I'll put up some pictures about that, I guess. When things slow down here. But we haven't placed them with a company, and don't want to go into business selling picks. They're good, a really different kind of pick, but it's not an industry driven by novelty. It's more about tradition. So that's been on the back burner.
Advertising. We'd like to sell advertising, for the next issue, which is going to be a bigger, book sized sort of thing. Ads should be long-term concerns, not events. But it's still taking shape. Some things aren't defined.
And there's lots of other stuff, that you can actually buy. We just don't have it here. Or make it, or sell it.
